5 Relationship Tips to Help You Move On After a break up

 Recovering from a breakup is no easy task. It's one of the most difficult situations in life to handle, especially when it comes to your personal relationships. Often times, we feel like our hearts are ripped out of our chests and thrown on the floor. At other times, we're left with a sinking feeling that we'll never find love again. To help you get through this difficult time in your life, here are five tips for moving on after a breakup, according to relationship experts — including yourself!

1. How to move on after a break up

Breakups are never easy but they’re especially difficult when you have to see your ex-partner around town or at social gatherings. It’s important to remember that the sooner you move on, the better. Here are some tips on how to get over a breakup: 1) don’t keep in touch with your

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 1).Caring about your ex-partner is one thing — but don’t fall for the little things they do for you. They may appear to be the most positive thing happening in your life, but over time you’ll forget all of these things. You can't keep making sacrifices just so you can get to know your ex again. 

 

2) DON’T expect your ex to move on with your relationship. Moving on is hard enough for both of you but regardless of how between you two, find a way for each of you to move on separately. Trust me, it’s better for everyone involved.

 3) DON’T think all you need is one ‘tough breakup’ or one ‘reluctant’ reunion to heal all your wounds. Although it’s tempting to think it’s all or nothing, don’t jump to conclusions about the situation just because you haven’t achieved your goal by damn time. Rather, look forward to your future with all of your former and current relationship partners, and cheer for them! 

4) Accept what happened in your relationship. Harsh things said and done are very painful but they don’t define you like the lies you tell yourself or the toxic actions you take out of fear or loyalty. Being realistic with yourself and speaking the truth is important for when you are trying to move on from a relationship. 

5) LOOK FOR POSITIVE REMINDERS. Take time to reflect on the good things that happen in your life — even the problems. Doing so can help remind you why you wanted to stay in the relationship in the first place.

There’s nothing like feeling sad, lonely, and alone after a breakup after a long and exciting relationship. After being together for so many years, you’re both looking for the other one again.

2. Don't get down on yourself; it's not your fault!

The best thing to do when you’re feeling down is to reach out to someone. It’s also important to remember that it’s not your fault and not a reflection of who you are. The best thing to do is to talk to someone you trust and let them know what’s going on.Often times, when we get stuck in a downward spiral, we think it’s something about us. It could be that we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves and we don’t see people properly. Or we might think that there’s something wrong with us because we’re saying things that don’t actually match up with who we’re actually becoming. If we change our minds, we can change our self-talk but the sooner we can get objective feedback from more sources the better.

Everyone has problems or things about them that are ugly or simply not that great. We all deal with life in our own process. Reflect on the things about yourself that you don’t like and make a plan to change them. Things about you that you think you don’t have any problems with could be true in the future. The sooner you do this, the sooner you’ll get past the nightmare of your breakup and start making the path to a new relationship easier.

There are days where everything feels so bleak that you contemplate suicide. While I can understand why you might feel this way sometimes, it’s important to remember that you do have control over life. One way you can decrease your likelihood of attempting suicide is by improving your mental health.

You can do this by:

When you’re stuck in a relationship, it’s easy to dwell on past hurtful actions that were done for reasons out of your control. Whenever you move on from a breakup, you should think about all the good times you had in there. Reflection is powerful, and we can learn a lot about who we are by looking back at our past. You can focus on the good things and forget about the bad.

3. Move on by taking care of yourself, first and foremost

When you’re experiencing a breakup, it’s easy to focus on the other person and to blame them for the breakup. If you’ve been the victim of a breakup, it’s easy to start thinking about the reasons that it’s not your fault and why it’s the other person’s fault.There is nothing you should be doing other than focusing on getting through the other person’s behalf and trying to put your best foot forward the best you can.

Splitting up doesn’t have to be a fight with a former flame. Instead, it also can't be when half of you wants to put the other half on blast. The real issue is defensiveness or any imbalance in what should be shared with the other person and what should remain private. Finding a way to share only the good parts of who you are with the other person is where a recovering ex-fiance seeks alleviate their pain — and perhaps, find love again.

One of the biggest push-back's I hear when it comes to sharing who I am with the person I’m currently in a relationship with is, “It’s all my fault.” No, it isn’t. You didn’t start the fight and neither should you be the only one to bear the brunt of blame.

Splitting up isn’t always about blame. If one person is the dominant figure, they may exert a lot of control over things like finances, the way things are conducted during the course of the relationship, with whom you spend your time, the divison they dictate in your life. While happening during the course of a relationship is certainly not a bad thing, you shouldn’t hold the person to a certain standard after a breakup. The one that latches on to the blame game is the one who doesn’t deserve a second chance.

It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that not all friendships are created equal when it comes to splitting up.

4. Don't be a stranger to dating again

Dating in your late 20s and 30s can be really different than dating in your teens and early 20s. The goal of dating is different. When you’re in your 20s, the goal of a date is to get to know someone, figure out whether you like them and if they’re a good match for you.By your 30s, it’s often times about companionship and adding value to someone by being here for someone. Dating is becoming less about discovering someone’s ideal partner and more about finding the right mate for yourself and deepening your relationship with someone else.

This can be quite challenging, especially for newly single people.

“You don’t want to have a situation where you never look back, or you look back without enjoying it because then you get resentful,” Gaines said. Instead of denying your ex-partners the possibility of love again, work to make the relationship best for you both, not better for the relationship.

Eager to get to know them again? Additionally, avoid saying anything negative to them or discouraging them from pursuing a relationship with you again.

“Sometimes with a breakup you feel as if you lost an almost immediate number one and that can really get to you,” Gaines said. If you have friends currently in a relationship, be there for them even when you’re not with them.

“With a breakup, people often detach themselves from them for a long period of time. But it’s important to not give the impression that you are done with them,” Gaines said.

Your new ex-partner might not make it easier to move on with both of your friends. Instead, you should show your love and support to them temporarily and then plan on your moving on. If you’re happy and comfortable, the relationship can be cherished even after its ending.

5. If you're religious, pray for hope and peace

If you’re religious, pray for hope and peace. For those who don’t believe in religion, you can pray for hope and peace too. Even if you don’t pray, you can still hope for hope and peace. It’s a good way to give you something positive to focus on.If you expect to start dating immediately, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. The sad truth is, most relationships don’t start immediately after a breakup. I can testify personally from my past breakups that the relationship never goes completely away, but rather, slowly deteriorates.

Depending on the person, it might take a lot of time for the relationship to be resurrected, but in all probability, it will!

Learn from the success stories of your former flame. There are stories all around us. People who had successful relationships after a breakup like Kristin Cavallari and Patrick Ruffini showed us what NOT to do and how to come back from the other side stronger, happier, and in love with ourselves.

If you need some inspiration, here is a list of books that crushed over my heart.

When he broke up with me, I didn’t cry. I simply refocused on what I’ll be doing after. This meant I began to read more, and I want you to too! Make sure you meet your new flame while you’re doing this. Meet them in the libraries, coffee shops, and online. Read until your hearts content fades away. Then impress your former flame by returning the favor.

Don’t be afraid of a long-term commitment now when all you want is to start seeing someone new. If you wait too long, you’ll regret it. It took me years to get over my ex and having a long-term relationship in 2021 isn’t exactly what I want, but I’m getting there.

If you’re starting out in a relationship, go to a library and simply ask anyone you pass to introduce you to the people in his or her life. Wait until a nice, interesting person comes by and introduce yourself.

Conclusion: 

     Breakups are never easy, especially when you're the one who has been left behind. But with time and effort, you can overcome the pain and find love again — or at least learn to cope with it better than before.